After Prison-Piper and Alex
by jezna111
Summary: Piper wishes she could go back to being shallow. Alex continues to live every day as its her last. How I imagine their lives.
1. Chapter 1

Rejoining the living, non-incarcerated world was much harder than Piper anticipated. Not that she anticipated much, in jail, time felt like it was standing still. Even though she had been counting down the days, the sentence felt like an eternity, a purgatory she would never be removed from. She stayed in jail for the full sentence- they don't let you out for good behavior if you end up in the SHU twice, once for beating the piss out of someone. Still, considering she had spent close to two years imagining sleeping in her own bed, it was like that bed had eventually ceased to exist- like had always been figment of her imagination, a dream from lifetimes past. Now that she was able to lie in the very real, very comfortable bed, she often spent time laying there thinking about how meaningless her life had become.

She knew she had it better than Taystee- she had a bed and a place to live, even if her kept pretending she was still the straight, law-abiding upper crust citizen she was before she left. Her name was still on the family credit card and Polly was talking about making soap again, although she barely seemed around. Everything just felt so purpose-less. Was she always this shallow?

For the first month, Piper would burst out of bed ready to tackle her daily regimen, which in the free world consisted of barely anything. She worked out, mostly out of boredom. Watched tv, again, out of boredom. She started taking apart lamps and then putting back together, out of boredom. She would write lists of jobs she could be doing-although, no one hires criminals. She would drink a lot. Her mother even hinted around the fact that she was "letting herself go and if she could please pretend to chipper when there is company."

Larry hadn't called. She tried to get a hold of him through her lawyer/his father on the day she was released, but the lawyer just shook his head brusquely and hurumphed. When she caught him at the grocery store with another women, a red-head, probably never been to prison, she decided to not drag him down anymore.

Her brother, surprisingly, visited often. He kept trying to give her tea and herbal supplements. He seemed genuinely concerned. He tried to get her to medidate once, but it only resulted in him sitting crossed-legged on the ground chanting "ooooohhhm" until he accidently farted a minute into it. Even Piper managed to crack up at that for a while.

Finally Polly picked up for lunch and instead dropped her off at a psychologist's office for an appointment that Piper had no business arranging. There were drug prescriptions written, stories listened to, and advice and homework given. The intake appointment lasted two hours. Polly swung around to pick her up and said,

"well… how'd it go"

"I can't believe you tricked me! I'm not sick… I'm a spoiled rich kid who can't figure out life and is sad! I don't need help!" Piper muttered.

"Oh sweetie, everyone needs help sometimes. You just need a little push. Is that a prescription? Want to stop at CVS?"

"Nooo, I'll get it later, I'm sure you're late to pick up the tyke."

"Nope, Pete is picking her up. I'm yours all afternoon."

"Oh" Piper knew she should've been happy. Elated even. But she was really looking forward to laying in her real bed and feeling miserable.

"Don't sound so sad about it. Lets drop off your prescription and then grab a salad"

"Fine. As long as the salad doesn't have cranberries...or anything red"

"You know, you've picked up weird quirks in prison."


	2. Chapter 2

At least the psychobabble people gave her something to do. Even if it was write in a stupid fucking notebook, go to group therapy and volunteer. The volunteering she actually liked. After hanging out in the kitchen with Red and their crew, Piper was great helping out at the soup kitchen. Also, the nuns that ran the soup kitchen reminded her of Sister Ingalls. She felt like she was at least doing something for humanity.

Piper had originally tried to volunteer at Big Bothers and Sisters, but she heartbroken when she was told that she couldn't mentor kids. They don't let convicts around kids. They did keep her number around, in case they wanted a "scared-straight" lesson for kids going down the wrong path.

Overall, in her notebook, she recorded facts and memories about other people. Sometimes Alex. Sometimes Nicole. She eventually found herself creating other characters and giving people she barely knew a background story. It was refreshing to just write. To remove the circle-of-doom thinking that so often happens while lying in bed thinking. Once a thought is written, it doesn't need to be repeated.

The group therapy group started three weeks into therapy. The drugs had just begun to kick in. She had volunteered four times already. And was two-thirds the way through her notebook. She was still spending a lot of time lying around, watching tv, drinking and barely existing, but there was some light, and it had only been three weeks.

She drove her mothers car to the group meeting. She pulled up to her shrinks building and was so busy trying to find 223, that she turned a corner and ran directly into a very tall woman. Upon looking up, and realizing who it was, Piper shouted,

"WHAT?... what are you doing here, Alex! You're not supposed to be here!"

Alex was clearly at a loss for words. While normally verbose, she only managed,

"Uhhhh… Um… I honestly… I didn't think I would run into you…Uh.."

"What do you mean you didn't think you'd run into me?! I live in fucking Connecticut. YOU KNOW THAT."

"Yeah, but I was just released a week ago. I'm not allowed to leave the state. I'm currently at the half-way house provided by the jail. How the fuck was I supposed to know I would run into you?! No offense, I don't particularly want to see you. Look, don't be mad. I'm really just here to see a therapist, so I'll be on my way."

As she started to walk away, Piper tried to catch up and apologize.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm here for the same thing. Group therapy actually. Are you okay? How's it feel to be out?"

Alex sped up, but did manage, "it fucking sucks. I thought prison sucked, but no, this is bad too. I would buy a shitty car and move far far away if I could, but I'm stuck, in Connecticut."

"do you have a job? What have you been doing?"

"geez Piper, I've only been out a week. No, I don't have a job. I'm unskilled and uneducated, remember? I'm going to be fucking late. I have to go."

Her long legs moved even faster and Piper was left in the dust. Even more lost in the building than before.


	3. Chapter 3

Group could've gone better. Piper spent the whole time thinking about Alex. The gods or fates, or whatever controlled the universe seemed to having a laugh at her expense.

On one hand, seeing Alex made Piper feel somewhat self-conscious. Piper started a running tally of all the things that she should be embarrassed about: she gained ten pounds, is definitely not wearing makeup, there are massive bags under her eyes, she still is jobless and is crazy enough to run into Alex at the psychiatrist. Piper desperately longed to find Alex and tell her all of her problems. To have Alex wrap her arms around her and tell her that she'll be okay and that Alex will take care of her. The anger in Alex's voice was the only reason stopping Piper from reaching out. That, and a nagging voice in the back of her head saying, "you can't handle your own problems, why do you expect other people to?"

She drove home. Her half drunk mother was on the phone talking loudly. When Piper walked in, her mother's eyes got big and she started whispering to the mysterious caller. She waved at Piper in an attempt to not be obvious that Piper was the center of discussion. Piper rolled her eyes and went to her room. At times like this, she too old to be behaving like a rebellious teenager.

"Piper, sweetie, will you come down for dinner?!" Her mother screamed.

Piper, curious and yet very cautious, slowly made her way downstairs. She heard chatter and voices she didn't recognize. Realizing her mother was trying to set her up on date, Piper paused and listened and heard a nasally male voice saying that he graduated from Brandies University five years ago. Piper, mortified, stormed into the room with the express purpose of pulling her mother aside and calmly telling her that this was inappropriate, that she was in no position to date anyone, let alone know whether she wanted to even date men, when she entered the room, she was stunned silent and very confused.

"Darling, come meet my very good friends Lauren and Eugene Solomon and their twins Rebecca and Ralph. They're a little bit younger than you, but Rebecca graduated from Wesleyan and Ralph was just telling us about Brandies. Come. Sit for dinner." Her mother slightly slurred.

Rebecca might as well been draped in a rainbow flag, she could not have been anymore obviously gay. She had a crew cut and purple hair. Slightly overweight, she was wearing a button up shirt flannel with the sleeves cut off. She looked incredibly bored. Ralph was the male, nerdy version of his sister. He too was wearing a button up shirt, with sleeves and necktie.

Piper tried really hard to not laugh when the realization hit her that her mother was trying to cover all possible attractions. Her mother couldn't figure out her sexuality and in a very desperate attempt to get Piper settled she invited one person of each sex to dinner. It wasn't hard to blame her mothers confusion, Piper didn't even know.

Being raised in her family, Piper knew not to make a scene. She ran a million of excuses through her brain quickly.

"I'm sorry Mother, I told Cal that I would meet him for dinner tonight. I didn't realize we had plans."

"Oh sweetie, you know Cal doesn't eat real food, at least not real meat. He also eats later than he should. Why don't you sit down and eat some food here with me and the Solomons?"

Out of excuses, Piper sat down in the only chair left, next to Rebecca and across from Ralph. Her mother sat at the end of the table, lording over the conversation and the food. The food was prepared by Nina, her mother's maid/chef.

"So Piper, that's such a pretty name" Eugene said with a smile.

"Oh yes, we named her after her grandmother's surname. It was going to be her middle name originally, but we decided when we met her she was more of a Piper than a Catherine."

"Your mother was telling us you attended Smith College? How did you enjoy your time there?"

"Oh, I loved it, I was an English Major and Massuchusetts was gorgeous in the fall." Piper answered out of reflex more than any real interest.

Ralph agreed and then the conversation continued on with what felt like practiced questions and answers. Its like the whole conversation was pre-rehearsed and true to the uppity, New England WASPY form. Piper was bored, but polite. Rachel kept silent unless spoken to and appeared to be bored out of her mind.

About halfway through dinner, "Piper, what do you do now? Are you a writer?"

The question shook Piper. "Um…well…no…"

Her mother jumped in quickly, "She makes fragrant soap with her best friend Polly. They are about to get a contract with Barney's, but Polly just had a little one, so they're going to wait a little to take on such a large customer. She's our little entrepreneur"

Stunned at what her mother was saying, Piper realized that the reason that the Solomons were here is because they didn't know that Piper just got out of jail. Unsure of what to do, but unwilling to lie by omission to these clearly well meaning, but bland people, Piper blurted out,

"Actually, we would've gotten Barney's, except I was incarcerated and its really hard to negotiate from prison."

Silence. The Solomon parents exchanged looks. Ralph chocked on his food and was gasping for air. Rachel let out a snort and was laughing.

"Smith and Prison, no wonder your mother was confused about your sexuality. I mean, those two things just scream lesbian, although I guess you know how to make your own soap on a stick so you can't drop it."

"The soap dropping problem only exists in a man's prison."

"Hah, you would know! What were you in for?"

The other Solomons and Pipers mother were just staring at both of them wide-eyed, silent because this was a conversation that no one had rehearsed, but Piper took the question in stride.

"I carried a suitcase full of international drug cartel money through customs at an airport."

"Why?"

Here Piper started laughing, "Because my girlfriend at the time asked me to"

At this point both Eugene and Ralph were shoveling food to get done quicker. Rachel was laughing and Lauren had just gulped a full glass of wine without pausing for a breathe. Piper caught a glance at her mother, who was glaring at her so hard that Piper thought she might catch fire.

"Oh, just look at the time, I really shouldn't keep Cal waiting. Eugene, Lauren it was lovely to meet you. Ralph, I really hope you enjoy accounting. Rachel, it was a pleasure. I will see you later Mother."

Piper grabbed her purse and left quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

Alex never intended to stay in Pipers life. After Piper was released from prison, Alex decided that she would stop thinking about her. She wore a rubber band on her wrist, and every time she caught herself thinking of Piper, she would snap it. It didn't help. Finally, she decided to imagine what Piper was doing. She was probably sitting in her rich parents mansion, enjoying the company of the rich local men who were investment bankers or accountants. She probably spent her time playing tennis at the club. The images were so real and, to Alex, so likely and predictable, that they were easy to draw up that soon even Pipers name would have her blood boiling with rage.

Catch yourself thinking about that time in Paris in a coffee shop? Let's think about the car Pipers boyfriend or father will buy her because she's a special little snowflake. Have an explicit sexual dream with Piper as the main star? Think about what her wedding ring her fawning boyfriend will probably buy her.

Alex was stunned when she got a letter in the mail from Polly. The letter was written in loopy girly handwriting on actual stationary that had a faint scent. The note was short and to the point,

"Hi Alex,

I feel stupid for even thinking about writing you, but I'm not sure what to do. Piper is having a really rough time, and while I don't expect you to save her or even sympathize with her, I'm going to try to get her some psychiatric help. I'm supposed to answer some questions about her recent past, but I don't know the answers. I can ask Piper, but I'm afraid of Piper sensing a trap. If you could, please, help me, I would really appreciate it. I would ask you to do it for the memory of what Piper once meant to you, but she told me some stories about her time in prison, so if you answer, I'll send money to your commissary account, unless you would prefer a check when you get out.

Has the Piper sought any psychiatric help in the past year?

*I know she hasn't on the outside, but she's only been out for three months

2. What medications has the Piper been on in the past year?

*other than alcohol?

3. Would you say that Piper has an addictive personality?

*I can't decide, she has been drinking a lot, but I think it might just be out of boredom. I think you would know more than I would from her past

4. Was Piper depressed in prison?

*They need to know how long the depression has lasted and I can say three months, but is it longer?

5. Has any major life changes taken place in the past two years?

*getting out of prison, obviously. Breaking up with Larry, duh. Is there anything else? Did something happen in there that I'm missing?

6. Is there any potential suicide risk?

*I'm going to say no, but I would like your opinion

That's all the questions for now. The way to reach me is below. "

The letter saddened Alex. Her imagination was wrong. Without even considering whether she should answer the letter. She broke out a pen and legal pad and began writing.

"Hi Polly,

I'm really sorry that Piper is going through a rough time. Of course I will help by answering the questions. Instead of money, is there anyway that you can keep me updated on her condition? I don't want to be a creepy stalker, and I have no intention of staying in her life, but I would like to know that she's okay. The answers are below:

No. They offer some counseling in here, but she never went.

None. Except flu shots and some advil, neither of which would cause depression.

Interesting question, I can see why you would have trouble answering that. I would say that she's a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but I don't think she'll ever be an alcoholic.

It is hard to not be depressed in prison. We're all just trying to survive it all. I think she dealt with it as well as can be expected, but yeah, there was always an underlying sadness. I would say she was noticeably depressed the last three to six months she was in here.

Getting out of prison. The SHU is an incredibly traumatic experience. Piper had a gruesome fight with another inmate where Piper was almost stabbed. Piper fought back and then viciously attacked. She ended up in the SHU for about a week. Actually, that's probably when the depression started. She also ended things with Larry. We started and ended things. In the grand scheme of her life in the past year though, I would say that ending relationships with both me and Larry was the least of her trauma.

Pre-medidated suicide? Never. A strong impulse to end it all while driving 90 on a highway? Possibly. She doesn't have very good impulse control, and I honestly don't know what her impulses are telling her to do now.

Thanks for taking care of her."

Another letter arrived shortly after. Alex was shocked the mail arrived so quickly. When she opened it, the writing was definitively male and written on the back of a dirty printed menu.

"Alex, We've never met. I want to talk to you about Piper. Sorry about the dirt, its hard to keep everything clean in the middle of the woods. Cal"

Alex remembered Cal fondly. She only met him once, briefly, but when Piper would relate funny stories about her family, they always centered squarely on Cal. He seemed to be the free spirit of her family, which means that he was mostly ignored or pushed into a corner. Alex would not be surprised if Piper and Cal got along much better when Piper got out of prison. Considering that the note left absolutely no other details, Alex was just forced to wait until she had a visitor.

The onslaught of people telling her how sad Piper was, made Alex feel guilty. She wanted to be able to wrap her arms around Piper and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Alex could do that when she was running a branch of the cartel. She had the money and the stability to take care of Piper. Now, without a college degree, and no means of getting one, and without any job prospects, Alex couldn't promise anything. She would never be able to promise stability, but she thought she should be at least able to promise dinner.


End file.
